I Hate Mac People

“I hate most Mac people” is a bold statement to make considering that I am currently typing this on a Macbook, have a Powermac G4 sitting in my office, and recommended that my fiancé get an Apple notebook because they are reliable computers, but the point remains, I hate most Mac people.

I hate that they somehow have managed to make owning a computer some sort of lifestyle. I hate their stupid artsy-fartsy, thick, black-rimmed glasses, their too tight t-shirts, and their emo women’s jeans. I hate that they drive bright yellow VW Bugs and Kias. I hate the Apple stickers they put on the back window of their vehicles to show the world that they “Think Different,” just like the other millions of people that wear women’s clothing and put Apple stickers on their yellow VH Bugs and Kias.

I hate going to the Apple store because I hate that the company has brainwashed its employees. I hate that Apple employs people who cannot think for themselves and blindly follow whatever their superiors tell them. I hate that the Steve Jobs Reality Distortion Field extends to every store, no matter its proximity to Cupertino, California.

I hate that most Apple computer owners are fanatical zealots. I hate that these people take owning a brand of computer too seriously and turn it into some sort of crazy, Kool-Aid drinking cult. I hate the undying brand loyalty the apologists have. I hate that no matter what happens with the company and its products, these people will not admit the company messed up or released a crappy and defective product. I hate that Apple refuses to release products that do not fail during its first revision. Being notorious for having defective products is not okay, despite what the company’s fans believe.

I hate that I cannot use my Macbook in public without a Mac person saying something to me about my computer. I hate that they make comments about how “I am using a better computer” or that “Macs are so much better than PCs” or that they are “Glad I came over from the ‘dark side.’” I hate the smugness they exude when I have to talk to them. I hate that they feel the need to randomly tell me Macs are better than PCs when I have not even said anything to them. I hate that most Mac people forget that “PC” is short for “Personal Computer,” not “Computer that runs Windows.”

I hate fixing Apple computers for Apple users. I hate how they insist that Macs are better than PCs even though their computer is broken or is not doing what they want it to do. I hate how most Mac people are personally insulted if I say anything negative about Apple computers or the company.

I hate the current ad campaign the company is running on television. I hate the lies the commercials pass off as truth. I hate that Apple has to run a smear campaign rather than showing the good stuff about its products.

I hate that I am part of this community by default because I own this particular brand of computer. I hate that I have to prove that I am not one of “those” Mac people.

I hate most Mac people.